2¢ Christmas

Doctor Who Christmas Specials Vol. 2

Christmas is a time that for many can mean new beginnings. This is especially true for the Doctor who’s in the midst of Regeneration. Same man. Different face.
When the TARDIS crashes back to Earth on Christmas Eve, Ten (David Tennant) exits the blue box only to collapse seconds later. Rose (Billie Piper) and Mickey (Noel Clarke) take him back to Jackie’s (Camille Coduri) flat to recover.
Ten remains unconscious while the others narrowly escape robot Santas and killer Christmas trees which are signs of a bigger alien invasion. The government has been messing where they shouldn’t be and have practically invited the Sycorax to invade Earth and enslave the human race. And the only one who can save them hasn’t finished regenerating yet!

Doctor Who is one of the BEST shows EVER! It’s also really weird. Killer Christmas trees and robot Santas only make sense on this show. No other show, besides maybe Legends of Tomorrow, could write a crazy plot like this one and get away with it! Ten is my Doctor and it’s a great first episode in general for a new Doctor and is also my favorite Tennant Christmas Special. The last third of the episode is my favorite starting with that epic entrance/second exit out of the TARDIS all the way through to the end! You can stream The Christmas Invasion now on HBO Max.

Favorite quote: The Doctor: When you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet—when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential— when you talk of the Earth. Then make sure that you tell them this: “It. Is. Defended.”

Amy (Karen Gillan) and Rory’s (Arthur Darvill) honeymoon is about to come to an end. So are their lives and the lives of everyone else on board as they prepare for a crash landing. Amy calls the Doctor (Matt Smith) for help. There’s only one person standing in his way: Kazran Sardick (Michael Gambon). Kazran is in control of the planet’s atmosphere and could save the ship if he wanted to, but the bitter old man would rather let everyone die instead.
Eleven plays the Ghost of Christmas Past in this retelling of A Christmas Carol when he travels back in time to rewrite Kazran’s past in order to influence his decisions in the future. A plan that almost backfires when an unexpected romance occurs between Kazran and and Abigail (Katherine Jenkins), a young woman frozen in ice. Her time is limited and he’s faced with a difficult decision: To save everyone at the expense of her life.

Quote: Kazran Sardick: Abigail was ill when she went into the ice, to the point of death. I suppose the rest in the ice helped her. But, she’s used up her time. All those Christmas eves with me. I can release her any time I want and she would live a single day. So tell me Ghost of Christmas Present, how do I choose which day?

This is one of my all time favorite Doctor Who episodes! And my favorite Christmas special out of the ones I’ve seen so far. I love the story, the music, everything. It’s the first time I can remember Eleven being dark and being willing to kill one person to save one person. It’s a rollercoaster ride in terms of emotion. It’s sad one moment and funny the next. It’s also got the kinda weird that only Doctor Who can pull off. This time the story takes place on a planet with flying fish. That’s something that you won’t find on any other show which is part of the reason I love it so much. Stream it now on HBO Max.

Favorite Quote: The Doctor: [Pointing to frozen Abigail Pettigrew] Who’s she?
Kazran Sardick: Nobody important.
The Doctor: Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important before.

2¢ After Dark, 2¢ Christmas, Sequels

2¢ After Dark: Daddy’s Home Duology

Daddy’s Home isn’t technically a Christmas movie, but there is one Christmas scene so I’m counting it. I’m ignoring that it takes in April because it’s my blog and I do whatever I want here.
Brad (Will Ferrell) has it all including a gorgeous wife and two kids. Ok so the kids aren’t his biologically, but that doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, he can’t have kids of his own, so being a stepfather is the next best thing, or it would be if the kids accepted him.
Then bio dad Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) flies in for a visit and tries to move in on Brad’s territory by trying to get his family back. This puts the two guys in a competition of dad vs. step-dad. May the best dad win.
This is a movie on fatherhood and the importance of dads in general, but a large part of the plot involves male infertility which is a total blast to watch with your own father in the room. Ask me how I know. 😜 You also get to see Will Ferrell’s butt and with his shirt off which is more than I ever personally wanted to see.

Daddy’s Home is very funny and has a lot of heart. It also has a lot of language. All the usual hits are here including shit, ass, damn, twice paired with God’s name. A couple uses of bitch used once each by both child stars. Sounds even better when kids say it. sarcasm Several misuses of both God and Jesus along with a plethora of other unnecessary language. And despite all that, it still manages to be one of my favorite comedies. Go figure. For added viewing pleasure, just add parents. It’s not awkward. At all. This movie is both sour and sweet. How much sour you’re willing to sit through in order to get to the sweet is up to you.

Brad (Will Ferrell) and Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) had a rough road to get here but now their co-dad BFFs to the point where it’s over the top and at times annoying. The guys hatch a plan for their blended families to spend Christmas together, but didn’t plan on having both of their fathers joining them. Dusty’s dad, Kurt (Mel Gibson), constantly makes fun of his son’s progressive parenting choices, and Brad’ dad, Don (John Lithgow), is just as wholesomely annoying as he is. They rent an Airbnb together for Christmas. One big happy family. Many different personalities and parenting styles under one roof. What could possibly go wrong?

This sequel is far more family friendly than the original! I think Will Ferrell is at his best when making Christmas movies. It’s everything I loved about the original with the amount of language cut in half. Language includes the usual like damn, ass, shit, bitch, several misuses of God’s name, and several unnecessary exclamations. Daddy’s Home 2 is not as crass and just as fun the second time around. A fun but imperfect Christmas comedy for families with older children. You can rent it from online retailers or borrow it from the library.

2¢ Christmas

Deck the Halls and Jingle All the Way

Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) is obsessed switch Christmas and all the traditions that come with it. When his new neighbor Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) moves in next door and threatens Steve’s position as the town’s Christmas Guy. Their wives just want to be friends, but the rivalry between Buddy and Steve evolves into all-out war over the obnoxiousness of Buddy’s Christmas decorations including his house covered in so many lights that it can be seen glowing in space. They go to great lengths to outdo each other that they forget about what makes Christmas important and almost lose their families in the process. It’s a fun enemies-to-friends type movie that everyone can enjoy.

This was a major step up from the dismal mess that was Christmas with the Kranks. It’s fun, is actually funny, and is mostly family-friendly. It’s a typical PG rated movie with minimal language including one use of damn, what the hell, ass, along with several misuses of God’s name. There’s also some suggestive humor. You can stream Deck the Halls on Starz. Libraries also still exist.

Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) wins the Worst Father of the Year award when he misses his son’s karate class. Wanting desperately to make it up to Jamie (Jake Lloyd), he promises to buy him a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. Naturally, he forgets to buy the toy until the last minute on Christmas Eve when all of the stores have run out of the year’s hottest toy. He finds himself in a full-out war with another dad as they go to desperate and often funny measures to track down the last Turbo Man. Hopefully Howard can upgrade that trophy from Worst to Best Father of the Yearand save his marriage in the process before the neighbor can make a move on his wife.

This one was fun! I enjoyed it. There’s some great physical comedy and some heartwarming moments as well. Perfect for Christmas! It’s got some language including a few uses of What the hell, and one use each of damn, dammit, and ass. Other than that, it’s great for the entire family.

2¢ Christmas

Christmas With The Kranks

Since Luther (Tim Allen) Nora’s (Jamie Lee Curtis) daughter Blair is away in Peru, they’ve decided to skip Christmas in favor of a Carribean cruise. No tree. No decorations. No donations. No nothing. The neighbors are horrified since Christmas is community event that everyone is required to participate in. To skip Christmas is absolutely unheard of and downright scandelous!

Then Blair flys home for Christmas as a surprise and Luther and Nora’s Holiday plans get turned upside down as they scramble to throw their annual neighborhood Christmas party at the last minute. With a little help from their neighbors that they’ve been horribly rude to they might manage to make it in time before Blair arrives home.

The Santa Clause this is not. The first act of this movie was boring and not funny which is bad considering that Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis are two of the funniest actors working today. The combination of the two of them should’ve been the best thing ever but it wasn’t. Christmas with the Kranks is mean-spirited in tone and devoid of Christmas spirit for much of the film.

It does get better and funnier about halfway through. It’s nice to see the neighbors pull together to help the Kranks when they least deserve it. And Luther eventually learns to put others before himself. There’s also a heartwarming moment or two in here somewhere if you’re willing to sludge through this movie to find them. Christmas with the Kranks is a family-friendly mess with one use each of what the hell and damn. Not bad. But not great. Stream it now on Prime Video.

2¢ Christmas, What the bleep was that?!


Billy’s (Zach Galligan) dad has gotten him a new pet for Christmas, a Mogwai. The little critter comes with three very simple, very important instructions:

  1. No exposure to bright lights and especially not sunlight, or the Mogwai dies.
  2. Don’t get it wet.
  3. Don’t feed it after midnight.
    Naturally, all three rules are broken in quick succession. They have to be or there wouldn’t be a story.
    If the furby-like creature gets wet, it multiplies in a Biblical fashion. And if it gets fed after midnight, it cocoons itself and comes out the other side transformed into a demonic gremlin. The gremlins quickly multiply, go out of control, and nearly destroys the entire town. It will take nothing short of a Christmas miracle to save the day.

This is a weird little movie. Was Chris Columbus on crack when he wrote this?! And when Furbies came out how many kids named theirs Gizmo?

This movie felt kinda like a demented mix of Ghostbusters and Star Wars except that’s an insult to two amazing movies. The gremlins are like evil Yodas with the spirit of Gozer inside of them. Gizmo was the best character in the entire thing. If there needs to be family-friendly horror, Gremlins is the perfect blueprint. It’s crazy and scary without being satanic. The House with a Clock in its Walls writers should’ve been taking notes.
There’s several uses of damn, paired once or twice with God’s name, several uses of what the hell, exclamations of Christ and Jesus. Ass and asshole are also used. One person winds up dead, but there’s no blood.

I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it. I prefer ET or Jurassic Park over this one. It’s not a movie I’d watch to get into the Christmas Spirit, but that’s just me. You can stream it now on HBO Max.

2¢ Christmas, Uncategorized

Freeform Christmas Originals Vol. 2

Nick Snowden (Tom Cavanagh) is busy preparing for Christmas when one of his reindeer goes missing. Transporting himself from the North Pole via magic mirror, Nick finds Buddy at the San Ernesto zoo in the care of zookeeper Sandy Brooks (Ashley Williams). They need to work together to rescue Buddy from Buck Segar (Patrick Fabian) before Buddy is sold to a game farm for the purpose of hunting. Nick’s on a tight deadline to be back at the Pole by Christmas Eve since all those presents won’t deliver themselves, but there’s always time for a love story because this is rom-com, and you have to squeeze the rom in somewhere.

When I found out the guy who plays one of my favorite Flash characters, Harrison Wells and all his variants, I knew I had to watch it. This is one of my favorite versions of Santa: cute, a bit nerdy, and super awkward. ♥️ I loved this movie! It was so cute! And the best thing is there’s a sequel which I’ll be watching later this month. Snow is available to stream on the ABC app.

When Sandy (Ashley Willams) and Nick (Tom Cavanagh) have a fight 3 days before Christmas, he leaves via magic mirror portal and winds up with amnesia. When Nick’s nemesis Buck (Patrick Fabian) finds out, he tries to take advantage of the situation to get his revenge and not only ruin Christmas but also get his hands on the reindeer who got away. It’s up to Sandy and some new friends to once again save Christmas.

Snow 2 was just as fun as the original if not more so. It was full of laughs and full of heart. I wish there was a third. Stream it now on the ABC app.

Reality can be better than fiction, but sometimes a break would be nice.

Angela’s (Christina Milan) we’ll-meaning but pushy family wants her to marry and settle down and arrange dates for her with her neighbors down the hall. She receives a special delivery from her new neighbor, Eddie: A magical snow globe that transports her inside to the perfect little town with the perfect little Christmas to match that includes the perfect guy. Every time she exits the snow globe something or someone always comes with her meaning that fantasy and reality collide in a way they’re never meant to. Over time, Angela learns that reality is better than fiction and she gets the cute neighbor in the bargain which is always a plus.

This movie was cute but cheesy. Sometimes too cheesy, but it was still fun. There’s one use of what the hell and a few misuses of God’s name that’s it. Stream it now on the Freeform app.

2¢ After Dark, 2¢ Christmas

Freeform Christmas Originals Vol. 1

Kate (Amy Smart) gets set up on a blind date on Christmas Eve. Both the date and the entire day leading up to it go horribly wrong. Unfortunately for her, once the clock strikes midnight, she’s forced to relive the same day over and over again until she gets it right. It’s Groundhog Day: Christmas Edition. All’s well that ends well with her finding true love for herself and for all of her loved ones.

This movie was fun and cute. One of the better TV movies I’ve seen in a while. 12 days of repetition got a little long, but it was still enjoyable. It has some language. Most of the usual hits are heard including damn, dammit, bitch, pissed, and several misuses of God’s name. Other than that, it’s fine. Stream it now on Hulu.

[narrating] I’m not crazy. I’m a long way from crazy. Doing one crazy thing does not make a person crazy, though I have to admit this isn’t how I expected to be spending my Christmas… and I’m sure it’s not how David Martin planned on spending his.

Trudie’s (Melissa Joan Hart) life is falling apart. She’s 27, doesn’t have a real job and painting doesn’t pay the bills. She also doesn’t have a boyfriend at least not anymore. Not wanting to disappoint her parents again, she kidnaps unsuspecting David (Mario Lopez) at gunpoint and forces him to be her boyfriend for Christmas.

He tries everything to escape and get back to his fiancée including playing along and being the perfect boyfriend to expose Trudie to her family to reveal her for the psychopath that she is and they end up falling for each other by the end.

This movie was so much fun! Like a romance novel come to life. Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart are the pairing I never knew I needed. It’s a rom-com that’s actually funny. It’s a new favorite! It’s Not Rated, but I’d rate it PG-13 for language and sexual innuendo and discussion. Language includes jackasses, Bitch-itis and bitch, What the hell, bastard, ass, damn, and misuses of God’s name. Stream it now on Prime Video.

Trudie: “Doing one crazy thing probably does make you crazy, but it also can make you happy.”

2¢ Christmas

HBO Max Christmas Originals

Violet’s (Violet McGrew) best friend Kenny’s (Santino Barnard) dad has been accused of stealing Santa’s magical jingle bells. They believe that he’s innocent and they have until Christmas Eve to prove it. They work to go with their older siblings to track down the real culprit.

A Christmas Mystery is as bland as its name. It’s a cute movie. There’s some heartwarming moments and a couple of tear-jerking ones. It’s a harmless family-friendly flick, but there’s nothing special about it to make it stand out from the rest. It’s not bad, but it’s not great either. Christoph Sanders was the best part of the whole thing. Please cast him in more stuff. I miss seeing his cute face on my TV on a regular basis. Stream it now on HBO Max.

Christmas movie director Jessica (Jessika Van) is in the middle of middle of filming her latest movie when Christopher (Josh Swickard), a network executive, comes in to shut the production down. And not just for one movie, but also the entire Christmas programming division. Before she knows it, Jessica’s life starts playing out like all the movies she’s directed, following every single trope and plot device to the letter.

A Hollywood Christmas is a Christmas movie within a Christmas. It’s like watching two Hallmark movies in one. The only difference between this and anything Hallmark releases is the HBO Max label. It’s predictable, but predictable doesn’t necessarily mean boring. Stories tend to have formulas for a reason: Because they work. It was fun to watch. More stories like this please! Stream it now on HBO Max.

Singer-songwriter Gail (Annelise Cepero) is on her way to an iHeart radio singing competition when her van breaks down in the middle of nowhere inHarmony Springs Oklahoma. Since she she has no money for repairs Jeremy (Jeremy Sumpter), the mechanic recommends she teach the music class and prepare the kids for the Christmas Gala. As is typical in a rom-com, Jeremy and Gail fall in love. This leaves her with an important choice to make: her dreams or her new home and romance. And as is typical for these movies, Spoiler alert: she chooses the latter.

A nice heartwarming and emotional story. It was very enjoyable and my favorite out of the three HBO Max Christmas movies. Content issues include several misuses of God’s name and several exclamations using the word hell. All 3 original Christmas movies were good. I hope HBO makes more of them.

2¢ Christmas, Christian Critique, Was it really that bad?, What the bleep was that?!

Christian Critique: The Star

Well, that was a massive disappointment.

Bo (Steven Yeun) wants to do something important with his life like joining the Royal Caravan, but God has a bigger plan in store for him: Being the Donkey that Mary rides to Bethlehem and the hero who’s behind saving Jesus from a really early demise. Yes. that’s the plot. Somebody, please cringe with me.

Christians suck at making faith-based movies. So does Hollywood. Christians not making good faith-based movies is disappointing. Hollywood not making good faith-based movies is disappointing, but expected and predictable. I wanted this to be good. I wanted it to be great. It was neither.
There are major Biblical inaccuracies:

  1. John is already born and in attendance at Mary and Joseph’s wedding
  2. Mary tells Joseph about Jesus after they are married and is far along enough that she has a massive baby bump.
  3. The Wise Men visit King Herod before Jesus is ever born, not two years after the fact. When Herod is informed of there being a new king, he sends a guard with two dogs to track Mary, Joseph, and Jesus down and put an end to this new Kindom before it ever has a chance to start. I wish I was joking.

This movie was like Bible fan fiction. Really bad Bible fanfiction. Written by people unfamiliar with the original source material. AKA THE BIBLE!! I don’t know if the writers are Christian or not. I’m hoping for the sake of the movie that they’re not. Because if they are, this is embarrassing. They don’t even mention Jesus by name until close to the end. He gets name-dropped twice. Other than that he’s referred to as the baby and God’s son. Considering it’s a Hollywood movie, I’m surprised they mentioned Jesus by name at all.
I liked that Joseph was played by Zachary Levi and that the movie showed both Mary and Joseph struggle with the idea of being responsible for Jesus. I thought that was realistic. But that’s all I liked. Other than that the movie was long, I got bored, and stared at my phone which I don’t usually do if I’m enjoying something. Read the Bible instead. It’s better. So much better.

2¢ After Dark, 2¢ Christmas, Was it really that bad?, What the bleep was that?!

2¢ After Dark Gone Sour: Scrooged

That’s an hour and forty-six minutes of my life that I’m never getting back. Ever.

Mean-spirited TV executive Frank Cross (Bill Murray) is a modern-day Scrooge (Well, modern for 1988 anyway). He fires someone over a disagreement and treats his assistant and everyone around him like crap. He needs a visit from his dead, disintegrating boss and three ghosts to straighten him out.
Good news: I have a new least favorite movie! Bad news: I had to watch this to find out it was my least favorite movie. Scrooged is mean-spirited, crude, crass, unfunny, to borrow a word from the movie, bleak, heartless, and soulless garbage. It’s a boring trainwreck. The writers were probably higher than a fricking kite. Nothing can save this dismal disaster of a film. I’ve had colonoscopies more fun! But I do have a favorite part: The credits!
The movie is long and the lead is completely unlikable. Language includes words like bitch, shit, damn, and several misuses of God’s name, four times paired with damn along with several other off-color words. Other unnecessary elements include scantily-clad dancers and a woman making photocopies of her butt to pass around the office Christmas party. Frank’s girlfriend is seen in the bathtub, but nothing too personal is shown. She gives him a copy of the Kama Sutra and they flip through it. There’s honestly too many issues to list on Instagram. You’re better off watching something else. Something wholesome like The Santa Clause, Elf, or Arthur Christmas. Anything but this.